Saturday 9 January 2010

Lost love

Every love affair has it’s lifetime. This that as long as it has a start it has a finish. Some relationships last to the end of partners lifetime, some die soon after they started.


Love may start as the strongest passion but time passes and the storm of emotions calms down, relationships once so bright and full of surprises become routine. It drags on for a while and than comes crisis. A couple can either survive through it or fall apart.


Even when the love is gone it’s always hard to realise that you have to quit something once so good. There’s no certain way to decrease the sad feelings about falling apart. You may only try to stay civilised people about it and to let the one who’s leaving do it without making up grandiose scandals and hysterics.

Although some think that it’s better to stay enemies than friends because than you will have nothing to regret about and won’t execute meaningless attempts to get things back. But is it so right to ruin all the memories about the happy time two people have spent together with ugly scenes screaming and blaming each other in the worst sins?


It’s over when it’s over and sometimes it’s obvious that all is over. Two people scream and shout one at the other almost everyday, they have nothing to talk about and if they do every conversation turns into a quarrel, one finds faults with everything the other does, they both simply annoy each other. That’s definitely the end.


The question is where the love’s gone. Nobody knows it. Maybe they’ve been spending too much time together and finally have started to bore each other. Maybe he has stopped telling her about his love and she has stopped feeling it. Maybe time has made the illusions disappear and the reality has turned to be not what they both expected. Maybe there was only passion and after it’s gone nothing has left. There can be plenty of those maybes. Every misfortune has it’s own face. It may even be that nothing is over but people need to take a little rest one from the other or try to diversify their relationships. In fact when each one of a couple is willing to fight to make love stay they’ll find the way to do it.



The real tragedy is when one still feels the love but the other is bored and wants to leave. If the feeling is really gone no tricks will help to keep the partner, sooner or later he or she will finally leave and those few more weeks together won’t make you happier. The only thing you can really do in this case is to try to get over him/her as soon as possible. That misery will pass as the happiness did.


Sometimes (and it specially refers to women) a man looses his interest to a woman because she has given up her job, interests, friends and etc. in order to become the part of his life, to be everything he needs. He doesn’t have to conquer her no more, she has stopped being a personality with her own life that he had once fallen in love with. If fact this is one of the general mistakes people do. They get too comfortable and stop fighting for each others love. And than when a partner starts packing bags they wonder where did I go wrong.


But still in very many cases lost love isn’t anyone’s fault. It is just the way things go. We should never stop believing that next time the feeling will be real and will finally last to the very end. We have no limit of times that we can fall in love and so although it’s sad to loose love, each time we do we should try to look at it as on the chance to find a new better one.

Love addiction

The Ancient Greeks already described “mania” as one of the forms of love. It’s an obsessive, ecstatic and long-lasting love. It usually exaggerates the meaning and the importance of the feeling. Very often it leads to strong emotional shocks and dramas. It seeks for the total possession and control over partner, although it can be heroic and self-sacrificing. “Mania” stays very strong even when it has no reciprocity, it can be blindly faithful. Nowadays this form of love exists but in has become less dramatic.

Love addiction is when we say I love him/her too much, I can’t let him/her go, it’ when we are ready to suffer, see our love being abused but still ready to forgive everything because of a terrible fear to loose the one we love.


Some people get adducted to love as the other get addicted to drugs or alcohol. It’s when their partner becomes the centre and the meaning of their whole life, when his or life becomes their life and everything they turn to do is to satisfy their partner’s need and to solve his/her problem. Work, friends, hobbies, personal interests – nothing of that matter for a love addicted person more. And in the basics of it all lays not the love but the fear that can take it’s roots in early childhood when a future love addict didn’t get enough love and attention and now he/she’s trying to fill that space being very scared to return to that loneliness of a child.


Some people get adducted to love as the other get addicted to drugs or alcohol. It’s when their partner becomes the centre and the meaning of their whole life, when his or life becomes their life and everything they turn to do is to satisfy their partner’s need and to solve his/her problem. Work, friends, hobbies, personal interests – nothing of that matter for a love addicted person more. And in the basics of it all lays not the love but the fear that can take it’s roots in early childhood when a future love addict didn’t get enough love and attention and now he/she’s trying to fill that space being very scared to return to that loneliness of a child.


These love addicts can be very nervous and depressive, also they are willing to gain total control over the partner. The reason is that they aren’t enough self-confidence and those possessive relationship can be an attempt to prove they are worth something.


Most of all love addicts are scared that the relationship will be ruined because it seems that won’t be able to live without their partner so they are ready to bear selfishness, indifference, cruelty, disgrace. More other those possessed with love try to convince themselves that all this “minuses” are temporary and that their partner is just having hard time at the moment, but after it’s over he/she will se everything that has been done for them and will turn to be very thankful.
Love addicts also may think thanks to their childhood that such sick relations with an indifferent partner is the only they are worth. They may ignore all the good people around them that are willing to give their love and attention.


By the way it’s women who suffer from love addiction more than men. Addictive men usually become obsessed with their job or hobby. The worst variant is drugs and alcohol. And the addictive women usually choose such men as a cross to berry.


The only way to get rid of such a love addiction is to fight all the fears and to quit that obsessive and destructive relationships, to prove yourself that you’re worth much more. Relationships are never supposed to be a one-way street, love is giving but normally it gets much in return. The problem is that the love addiction can be a very serious problem repeating from one relationships to the other so that a person isn’t even able to solve it without professional help.

First love

Theoretically first love can happen in any age or not happen at all. But most people had fallen in love for the first time when they were teenagers. That exciting new experience most of us remember very well during all our life. For an adult his/her own high school problems and the problems of their children seem very funny, silly and simple especially compared with all the difficulties of adult life. Somehow we forget how tragic and full of drama life and relationships were than in our adolescence.
Than a teenager falls in love and it happens for the first time he/she feels all it’s ups and downs for the first time either. In that age we mostly enjoy ourselves and study the new emotions inside than show much interest for the inner world of our first boy/girlfriend.


Once we start to show interest to the persons of the other sex and a little later instinctively choose our first love. The relationships between two sexes will interest and trouble us during all our future life but these first steps are always the most difficult and for some of us turn to be very painful. Teenager has a growing and changing body that he/she hasn’t started to understand yet and a delicate soul which is so easy to hurt.


Adults very often don’t take this first affection for serious, they may laugh at it, preach, tell their children that they are too young to really feel anything, that his or her object isn’t a good pair for him or her, they may try obey them stop seeing their boy/girlfriend. This is all very wrong. No one can stop anybody from falling in love especially when it’s so beckoning with the novelty. Wise adults can only try to support their young comrade to pass this complicated with the least wounds and hurt. The feelings of adolescents are as changeable as their mood. So the first love usually goes very soon after it comes. The mission of people around is to show that it’s not the end of world and that a teenager is not alone, that there still stay people who love him/her and in their love he/her can’t be sure. The first love is only the first lesson to learn but it like Alphabet stays in the basic of the whole future relationships of a human.


Very often we cherish these memories a lot, sometimes idealise them, remember the first love as something very innocent and fragile. If something went wrong than some people may have some problems with starting new relationships, they may even achieve come serious complexes that will be spoiling their relationships all the time.


But there’s no such low that tells we all fall in love for the first time in our adolescence if not with our coevals, than with our favourite teaches, famous actors and pop-stars. Yes, teenagers searching an ideal love object in the real life and not finding it there can turn to TV-screen heroes, or persons who are elder and seem wiser and more experienced when the people of the same with them age. Of cause most adults don’t take these kid’s falling for them too serious. It passes as does the hysterical passion for the pop-stars. But still some people don’t fall in love at this age of first love at all, they have some boy/girlfriends in order not to differ from others, to satisfy curiosity and a booty call, they may really like the coevals they have relationships with, but still it nothing serious. For those people their first love may come later, and the feeling will be the same new and surprising for them as for the teenagers. But Bernard Show said that if you haven’t fallen in love till you’re forty you already shouldn’t do it after.

Are you in love?

Usually if you ask yourself “am I in love?’ it means you’re not, because when you’re fallen in love you already have no questions, this feeling is to obvious to leave any doubts. So it’s more reasonable to count the consequences of it than to look for the signs

Usually if you ask yourself “am I in love?’ it means you’re not, because when you’re fallen in love you already have no questions, this feeling is to obvious to leave any doubts. So it’s more reasonable to count the consequences of it than to look for the signs

Lovesickness can be compered with feather: you’re either flying high, all filled with enthusiasm and energy, that when people around start to wonder if you’re in love or you’re deeply depressed, indifferent, nervous, don’t see in life any bright sides. No third variant is possible. You sleep as a baby or suffer from insomnia. You shine and think you’re the best or feel miserable and unattractive. You are afraid to leave phone for a moment because you sure that’ll be the moment he or she will be calling.

Nothing makes a person happier when he/she realises that the feeling is mutual. People in love look better, feel better and attract more attention from the people of the other sex than they are in their normal state. When you are in love single look of your object, anything that gives you the slightest hope – and you’re already somewhere above sky.

Falling in love without reciprocity seems to be a tragedy and the end of the world. Of cause it’s not and it will pass but try to tell the one who is so unfortunately in love! Gloomy face, giving up all the everyday duties or on the opposite trying to get rid of the feeling in energetic activity – these are the signs of person in love either. Some people just can’t deal with the intense of emotions. People with unbalanced psychics can even have some suicidal ideas. But this cases are rare.
Falling in love makes you a dreamer. You see you both on the first date, long before it takes place, imagine the time you will spend together, some women start dreaming of a house and kids.

You are ready to work on yourself because your object is worth only the best. You may start a diet or go to a fitness club. Women buy tonnes of cosmetics, fill the wardrobe with new clothes. But when you’re sure that your object won’t be there you may start being rather negligent to your appearance because you’re simply not interested in anyone’s else attention.


You may start to annoy your friends with endless talks about what he ore she’s done or said. And you may notice that people around are looking at you with some mix of envy and compassion. A person in love always looks a little bit crazy and different to the others and we usually think that he/she’s totally mindless but “look at him/he” – he/she’s so very happy. When you’re in love your own problems don’t matter a thing, you don’t even notice them, but the one sad sigh of the object and the word starts ruining for you.


Falling in love is based on some chemical processes (not only on them of course), but they are the reason for the euphoria, trembling knees, heartbeating, temperature rises, loosing breath and mind at one time. These processes even change the smell of your body. In general they work like come psycho stimulators and you’re willing to see and to hear your object in search of a new portion of that sharp feeling. By the way each time we keep busy doing something we like (hobby or favourite occupation) the similar processes start in motion.


So if you find yourself in love enjoy that felling because pleasure not only makes us happy but gives us that happy look that attracts people and luck.

Ways to Propose & 10 Ways to Propose.

True love is so rare and worth cherishing. It is no wonder you want to stay all your life with the person you love with all your heart. Today, trust in marriage is fast depleting because both parties are more interested in themselves than in pleasing each other. If you happen to be of a different mindset and would not mind going that extra step to ask your beloved to be with you, you should propose her//him immediately when you believe you are ready.

A marriage proposal can become the most memorable event in your and the other person’s life. It is necessary that you are absolutely sure that the person you are proposing to says ‘yes’ when you propose or else it will lead to disappointment. At the same time ensure that you are not late in proposing.

A memorable proposal will always be the one which is interesting, creative and innovative. You should ensure that the person you are proposing to enjoys this event thoroughly and that you are paying complete attention to this person. There are so many ways you can propose to a person, make him/her feel wanted and welcomed into your life forever. Check out some of these very interesting and innovative ways for proposing:propose

1) Book: This is one of the most complimentary methods of proposing to someone. If your sweetheart is an avid reader or literary genius, you can check out this unique option. This book is especially fruitful if your relationship has been a long one. You can bring up unique and happy memories of your relationship. You can write about this person in detail and reasons why you value him/her so much. Write the book yourself or get it written from a professional writer. Publish a single copy and present it to your beloved with the proposal on the last page.


2) Garden: If you love gardening and your beloved loves flowers, this is an ideal and a very touching way to propose. However, this method requires you to plan out your garden meticulously. Keep a separate patch for this purpose, plant and grow flowers in letters that will spell ‘Marry Me’ with the name, wait until the flowers grow full bloom and bring your beloved to this garden blindfolded and surprise him or her.


3) Boat Ride: Nothing can be more romantic as going out in the sea or a lake with nothing but the nature around you and your beloved. If you and your sweetheart are water lovers and related sports activities, this is a great way to propose. Take your sweetheart for a boat ride and propose.


4) Music: Are you a good crooner? You can sing love songs with most ease? Assemble one or two people to play music instruments for you and start recording love songs, and when you want to propose you should sing a love song with a proposal song for your beloved, a sure way to win his/her heart and a partner for a long time.


5) Adventure Outing: If both of you love adventure, you could go out on an adventure holiday and you could propose to your sweetheart at a time when you are at the most perfect point or place during the outing. It could be atop a hill you have just climbed or in the darkest of woods or on a starlit night in middle of nowhere. You could increase your happiness ten fold through the adventure outing.


6) Greeting Cards: This is another great way of proposing and surprising your partner at the same time. This is useful if you live in or occasionally do go to stay with each other. Greeting cards are a great way to express, therefore do not choose just a single card - instead, you could choose a series of cards showing your affection. Place each card in every room your partner is most likely to visit in the morning. Let the words ‘Marry Me’ card be in a place your partner is fond of. This method is inexpensive, making just the right choice or cards would make it worthwhile.


7) Emails: Add mystery and adventure to your proposal. Send emails anonymously; make emails - soft and comfortable that speaks only of your feelings and nothing else. Let your partner wait of another email each day, ensure you send your name with the propose email. This is the method so many people use for proposing the next person.


8) Create a Video: An artist or a good performer would love this surprise. Create a video of yourself painting or acting or dancing for a love song, towards the end you can propose to your beloved in the video. It is absolutely necessary to watch the video with your sweetheart if you want an instant answer.


9) Cook Up A Proposal: Learn a special dish your sweetheart loves, invite the person over for a romantic dinner, make sure everything is perfect. Create an unbeatable romantic mood, a perfect dinner date. And serve what your sweetheart loves, make sure that is perfect too and propose.


10) Agreement: Write promises that you will make at the time of marriage to your beloved, sign it yourself, and ask your beloved to sign the agreement if your sweetheart agrees to the proposal, a fun and surprising way for proposing.

So check and try the method you will use for proposing to your sweetheart. The above unique methods will surely win your beloved’s heart!

Keeping Love Healthy with Money Problems

Money may not everything, but it also isn’t just anything. It helps us not only to survive, but also allows us to enjoy other luxuries and do many enjoyable things with the ones we love. Money also gives us the strength and confidence to chase after our dreams and assists us in making them come true.When money is short such as in the credit crunch and debt is involved however, it can affect your romantic relationship, no matter how much you and your partner may love each other. This is because when you go from a life of comfort to a life of struggle and unwanted change, it creates stress for everyone involved and patience can be short. When patience is short, it causes people to be easily annoyed with each other and they tend to snap at each other quickly due to all the worries on their mind.

Can money problems and a credit crunch ruin a good romantic connection? It can- but it doesn’t have to! With all the financial trouble out there today, it is very likely you will find yourself in some money trouble sooner or later. Naturally, both you and your partner are going to feel concerned and stressed out about it, and that’s okay. The only important effort you both need to make is to do whatever it takes to avoid turning on each other and playing blame games, and instead work together love creditin taking care of your financial situation. As unpleasant as it may be, you both will have to make certain changes in order to keep your heads above water until your situation improves. This includes budgeting on things you never had to before and finding less expensive ways to enjoy life.

Work together in finding romantic things to do together that cost less. It is essential that you keep your romance alive and healthy during rough times and not allow money obstacles to tear you and your love apart. Tackle your money problems together, but do not neglect your love life. Make dates to do something nice together that will not out a strain on any of your wallets. For example, you can reserve a certain night for “movie night”, rent some movies and cuddle on the couch together with some sweet snacks. You could also cook up a romantic dinner at home, or go out for dinner and come home for dessert. There are many things you can do- the point is to be attentive to your relationship and not get drowned in your money worries. There is time to work on finances and time to enjoy your relationship. Your passion for each other should not go on hold and there is no need to turn against each other, because this is something you both can tackle and conquer together- as a loving couple.

Things to Remember:

How you felt about each other when you first fell in love and focus on why you love each other in the first place

  • Remember how supportive you both were of each other when things were going well. It is time to now supportive of each other through struggling times too.
  • Remember that it takes two to keeps things good or to make them go sour. Team work is the key!
  • Always be open to listen to one another, even if you do not always agree. Ignoring things, blaming each other or closing up to what the other has to say will not make your money problems go away and could actually make it worse in more ways than one.
  • Tackle this together and come up with a plan you both like to help you both get back on track.

I Am

I am free,
like an angel,
and take on many forms

I laugh and I listen
I am never far away
I am never gone at all

I am a friend,
a good book,
or a pink and golden sunset

I am a mothers touch
and a fathers
helping hand

You know me
because
I am you

You are me
through
and through

I am unconditional love
and you
are too!

Ways to Generate Love

bulletForgive - Forgiveness is a wonderful way to release the past and to love unconditionally. Drawing a line behind you, you can free yourself of limitations and be at peace with the process of life. Move forward to new beginnings.

bulletMeditate - sit quietly, breath deeply, visualize your heart as a blazing orb of light

bulletBe still in any moment of confusion, fear or anxiousness and focus on your breath. In the stillness comes the solution

bulletLook into a mirror and see yourself as for the first time and say, "I love myself Unconditionally."

bulletJournal - write out your feelings to better help yourself understand who you think you are and how you really view yourself.

bulletHug someone.

bulletHug yourself.

Living With Love


The power of love is held within each of us every moment. This wondrous energy is available merely by our use and conscious recognition. When we choose to love one another we transcend the lower personality perceptions and rise to a higher truth. We recognize our oneness, wholeness and interconnectedness.

This is not a conditional love or the type of love one may try to use to earn favors or expect validation, rather this is a universal and unconditional love that recognizes the beauty in life every moment. It is of a higher nature. It is a natural expression that does not expect an outcome. It is giving just for the sake of giving.

It is in the sharing and giving of love to others that we receive the same that we give. Give love and surely you will experience love itself. Express love to the world around you and the world will reflect back to you the power of love.

Each of us desires to understand and realize this experience of love. Just listen to the lyrics of music and you will quickly see how much the notion of love plays a part in our personal journey of life. We seek it in our families, relationships, careers, religions, hobbies, and even at times we look to nature itself. All the while, it is right within us ready to be given out and experienced.

Love is such a powerful force especially when shared.

LOVE

Many people have traveled this world with different dreams, purposes and aspirations. Many are masters, teachers, inventors and followers. They were all sent by the creator of the universe to achieve one just course; “global peace and unification.” But this course cannot be achieved without unconditional love, which possesses the magical powers of the Divine for transformation. When the human race embraces love unconditional, then the lost will be found, the naked will be clothed, the hungry will be fed, the bombs will be destroyed and there will be peace and unity which will make us all to speak one language, “LOVE”. Let love abide .